One Year of Marriage: The Good, the Bad, & the Happy

It’s been 365 days since we got married, in our backyard in Colorado, where we have made an amazing life. It’s been quite the year indeed!

We’ve bought two investment properties, sold one and have the biggest project for our company Happy Homes ltd. to date in front of us.

We got Avalanche certified , skied and explored countless mountain towns together, in every season (Crestone, Jacksone hole, Steamboat, Crested Butte, Salida, Fort Collins to name a few!) and survived a backcountry ski accident together, where our patience and trust for each other was put to a test.

We’ve ridden mountain biking trails, hiked to Alpine lakes, skinned up hills and skied down sky chutes.

We’ve drank at countless breweries, enjoyed hundreds of home cooked, garden grown veggie meals, where both our strengths came together beautifully, him growing the food I’m cooking.

Our year has been productive, full of adventure, with times of frustration & sadness sprinkled in….but most of all, the year has been full of happy.

I married “late” in life, waiting until I knew myself a bit more, until there was no doubt in my mind that the person I was joining forces with was going to be a true partner. Now, I’m not naive; there are no guarantees in life and for things to work well, you have to work at them. So, in reflecting on this past year, here are a few lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) about being married…

  1. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important, so make sure you know yourself and nurture your passions. Far too often I hear of women putting their needs aside for their family, their husband, sacrificing their own wants because they don’t want to appear selfish, they are busy taking care of everyone else’s needs to bother with their own. Well, I think that is horse shi#£. And I say this because I too am guilty of it. For turning down a dinner with a friend because I feel I need to cook dinner for Mike. For not going for an afternoon swim, because I have laundry or cleaning to do that Mike hasn’t offered to do. For not going to that Sunday morning yoga class cause maybe we’ll do something. It is ok to put my needs first sometimes and Mike is almost always fine with whatever I plan for myself, and often encourages it! Don’t make excuses for not pursuing your own stuff. I’m not saying you should give in to every whim you have, say ‘screw you’ to your family responsibilities, but when you make time for you, and those things you love, well, I know I’m a happier, more productive person and bring that to the marriage table.
  2. Know and appreciate each other’s strengths and recognize each other’s weaknesses (and don’t use them against each other!). I’m not a patient person. It’s a weakness for sure, one that I’m actively working on. I also have a major case of FOMO (fear of missing out) so often get so wrapped up in wanting to do more, make each day epic, that I can miss what’s in front of me. But, I’m organized, great at planning, and have a knack for cooking. Mike can get lost in the moment, a perfectionist with certain things, so can take longer to do tasks and can only handle one at a time. But he can fix and build anything, is a master gardener and loves to do yard work. We each bring our own set of goods & not so goods to the table, but where I may lack, Mike picks up & vice versa. He may never plan a trip, and definitely needs a lesson in housekeeping, but he packs the car after I’ve laid it all out, and brings me fresh grown kale for salads. I’ve learned not to throw his weaknesses at him (trial and error for sure!) because I know our individual strengths make us a better team & we need to flaunt them!
  3. Use your words. There have been times I’ve not said I was annoyed, but was, times I’ve not wanted to go down that run, but did anyway, times when I’ve gone silent because feelings are stupid. I’ve found out that if I’m annoyed, I need to say something, explain my side and why and let him talk through his. Mike is not a mind reader, nor should he be, and my feelings and perspective (expressed in a respectful way) should be considered. If I remain silent, then shame on me. Confrontation sucks and it can be unpleasant, but the times when we did talk through things have turned out much better than the times we didn’t.
  4. You can have different play books as long as you’re on the same team. We are individuals, handle things differently, approach situations with different perspective. As long as you’re on the same page about the objective, goal or end result (and communicate along the way) be open to, and patient about, how the other person is accomplishing their task at hand. Just because you wouldn’t do it that way (and your way is most definitely better) doesn’t mean the job won’t get done.
  5. Take care of, and responsibility for, your own sh$#. I can check the air pressure in my own mountain bike tires, can change a flat on the bike if needed, and can get it in and out of the truck myself. I used to just expect Mike to do it, so let him. Then I got a flat on a trail, without an extra tube, and something clicked. I need to take responsibility for the things I participate in….the good, bad and annoying. This goes for Mike as well. I’ve stopped folding his clothes (unless I have time to) have stopped packing for him, and don’t usually stock the house before I leave for a business trip. We are both adults and have the capability of taking care of ourselves. This is not to say we don’t do things for the greater good of the partnership. When I cook a meal, I don’t just serve myself. When I clean the house, I don’t dust around Mike’s things. And when Mike plants and nurtures our garden, he is proud to share the fruits of his labor. It is not about what you won’t deal with or do for the other person, I think it’s more about having mutual respect for each other and the things that you partake in.
  6. Be honest & patient with yourself and with each other. If I’m being truly honest, I am not that good of a mountain biker (yet) but I want to be at Mike’s level, so instead of picking the trails myself, I’ve let him pick. I’ve also not been putting in the time practicing or strengthening during the week, so halfway into our ride, I’m usually frustrated, feel like crap cause I can tell Mike is frustrated, and my confidence is shot. That’s no way to get better! This past weekend, on our anniversary trip (to Grand Junction, which I’ll write about!) I was honest and said I should probably stick to green trails, maybe head to some blues, and once I did that, we both had a better time. But, I did need to ask for Mike’s patience as I get better, as my ACL heals (although I do use that as an excuse) and know I need to put the work in. A similar patience needs to come from me for Mike. As an example, our current Happy Homes investment property is taking a lot longer due to the scope of the project and frustrations around lack of movement on his end, for not having a project to keep him busy, has been spewed towards him. We finally discussed it calmly (after the yelling of course) and I realized he had done as much as he could at the state the project was, and he already felt frustrated with himself about things, so my harping wasn’t helping. Patience, honesty and communication poured out from both sides was the best remedy.
  7. Be Happy. It’s just that easy, huh? Yes. I truly believe you have a choice in dealing with things, especially the hard things. If you have a sour attitude, think only of the bad, focus on the negative, you will only attract the bad, the negative, the sour. If you focus on the happy, the abundance, the good, those things will flock to you. You attract what you put out into the world and if you greet each day with a grateful, happy heart, well…happiness will find you. Life is precious and the love I have for our life, for my husband, makes me happy. Everyday with each other is a gift, so treat your partner with respect, love and happy.

It’s only been a year, and I’m really no expert on relationships, but with happiness and hard work on our side, I feel the next year of our marriage will be just as amazing!

Our Backyard Wedding Weekend Extravaganza

Our Story began 20 years ago….Mike and I met in high school, dated, moved out to Colorado, and he asked me to marry him on the back bowls of Breckenridge. Ok, there has been quite a lot more than that, but it’s our life in the tiniest of nutshells and brings me to our Wedding Extravaganza!

I never thought I’d enjoy planning a wedding as I’ve always known the big wedding was not for me. The stress, planning, money, poofy dress, 18 bridesmaids, money, Bridezilla, money…..ok, the money thing was really a huge block in my getting pumped about the whole wedding thing. But, Mike and I have such a great vibe and once we started talking about what we wanted and what we didn’t….I knew we would plan a wedding that incorporated all we love, with happiness through every turn.

First thing we had to decide once we got over celebrating….where to have our fabulous affair. After taking a look at a ranch that was 45 minutes from our house (had several guest houses, but only slept about 8 people comfortably – how do you decide which of your family stays!? – and was $4,856 which didn’t include a caterer/food) we decided it was too far and not exactly what we had envisioned.

So how about a barn!? Super rustic, laid back, outside. Perfect, right? And how much could a barn at a local park be!? I looked at Evergreen, in the mountains, to host our low key affair. For 6 hours, not including ANYTHING else, the venue was $4,640.00 – it was a holiday weekend, hence the inflated price. YIKES!

Some of you may think that I’m being a little cheap…yes, yes I am. Why does one afternoon of joining two people, who love each other regardless of the venue, extravagant flowers, fancy place settings, who are preparing for a lifetime of amazing adventures, why does that one afternoon need to cost so much!? In my very humble, personal opinion, it doesn’t and shouldn’t.

So the backyard extravaganza took shape!

Here are a few things we did that were totally us, totally cost efficient and made the day amazing. Your wedding should have your stamp on it, shouldn’t be stressful, and should feel like an extension of your love for each other. That’s the vibe we wanted to create and looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Decorations

A few months before our wedding weekend, I invited my local friends and family over to help with decorations. Homemade signs, rolled napkins and silverware, seating tags….it was a total DIY approach, but made it a fun activity for those we love to be apart of. There was a Welcome Sign, a Beer Sign, a Smore’s Sign, a Food Truck Sign, and of course, the Colorado flag!

DIY Wedding Signs

 

DIY Wedding Smore's Sign

In total, I spent $318 on decorations including: mums, paint for the homemade signs, water pitchers for the tables, a large glass pitcher for water, a small water dispenser for our beer station,  lights to string up, name tags for seating assignments, favors (envelopes full of wild flowers) cloth for the table settings (my mom sewed all of the table runners and bought the table clothes for me, so that was awesome and an expense she took care of) and a love grows here sign for our garden. An old pallet acted as the perfect seating chart holder!

DIY Wedding Name tags

DIY Colorado Flag

DIY Wedding TableFlowers, Table Settings

Sunflowers grow wild in our backyard, so not only did they serve as the backdrop for our ceremony, they were my flower of choice! I told my sister she had $100 to use for the flowers (and she wouldn’t take a check!) and she did great! That amount of money bought the perfect amount to decorate the 6 tables we had, plus the other tables we were using to put food, wine and beverages. Using old beer bottles (we LOVE beer, so had a number of them for the table settings) and vases we had, there were sunflowers everywhere you turned! The bio-degradable silverware was wrapped in a napkin, tied with twine and the mason jars acted as my guests beer mug/water glass. I had additional wine/water glasses near the wine station as well. All in all, I spent $106 on utensils, napkins, and glassware.

DIY wedding

Lights, Doors, Windows & Booze

I’m a huge fan of using what you have on hand, so with our love of beer, we incorporated bottles, caps and of course, actual beer in our special day. Being fans of the good stuff, we spent $1,153.06 on the booze for the wedding, including the day before (we went to Ratio, where we had some snacks and bought everyone a few rounds to celebrate and welcome our friends and family who had traveled to be here). We wanted our friends to have a good variety and taste the flavors of Denver, so had a tasting station with a number of Sours, IPA’s, Porters, Imperials, and a few others! Complete with a washing station, this acted as the hangout spot for most of our friends.

DIY Beer Tasting Station

With Mike being a carpenter, we had tons of wood to use for the signs, in all shapes and sizes. With a bit of sanding, paint and creativity, the signs turned out perfect! We also had a number of old doors, windows, pallets, and even an old tables that we put to good use. The backyard was truly transformed! The old doors we had lying around acted as a beautiful backdrop for pictures and led the way out to our food truck, with strung lights illuminating the path.

DIY wedding

DIY Wedding decorations

Tables, Chairs, Tents & Potties

Although we knew we didn’t want a big wedding, our guest list reached almost 50 – a perfect amount of people, but how would we seat everyone!? And WHAT IF IT RAINED!? Colorado weather is quite unpredictable, so that was definitely a consideration. Tents were really a must! A local party rental store had a great price (I called/quoted 3 companies) and for a small fee, they’d even set it up for us! So, the tables, chairs and tents (one large one for the lower half of the yard and one for over the upper deck area) came to a total of $349.

DIY wedding

 

DIY backyard wedding

DIY Backyard Wedding

 

Now, we needed to take care of the business of taking care of business. I hadn’t even considered outsourcing the bathrooms – we have 2 of them! But, when my mom asked if I wanted 50 people using my bathroom….I slowly realized it would be a good idea to have an alternative. The Lavish Loo came to the rescue! A local business, who gave me a great price for a 2-stall, portable bathroom. In total, I spent $500 to have my guests take care of their needs in style. In my driveway!

DIY WeddingFood!

The afternoon of the rehearsal dinner was spent putting together flower arrangements, setting tables, and hanging with family. I ordered lunch for everyone so we wouldn’t have to worry about stopping to eat. Lori’s Wraps hit the spot and for only $218 we had fresh food, salads, and lemon squares that fed 17 people! The day of the wedding, we had shopped around quite a bit to find the right fit for our backyard extravaganza. Catering was several thousands of dollars, so we looked at a few food trucks. Wong Way Veg hit it out the park!  Not only did she have amazingly fresh, vegetarian cuisine, she was a true advocate for the cause, donating her whole deposit to local animal sanctuaries. I loved her! And so did our guests. We gave our guests several options to choose from: a Philly Cheesesteak made with portabello mushrooms, a Bajan BBQ burger, or sweet potato tacos – all coming with veggie tots. On the side, we had three spring salads to choose from for that fresh flavor. For our appetizers, she made BLT skewers with mushrooms instead of bacon, veggie spring rolls with dipping sauce, and a goat cheese spread from the local animal sanctuary. Everything was delicious – and people didn’t miss the meat! Including a huge tip and the deposit, I spent $1,367.50 on the food for our wedding!

DIY Wedding Food Truck

 

DIY Wedding Food Truck

DIY Wedding Food Truck

The Cake & Dessert

I looked into special bakeries to make our cake – and Mike even said that he’d order one or two from Clint’s (a bakery up in Breckenridge) – but knowing we wanted a carrot cake made me turn once again to my mom. She makes The. Best. Carrot. Cake. Ever. And holy smokes did she go above and beyond! She made our mountain cake from scratch and even had rocks, a river, trees, and the Colorado flag! It was by far the coolest cake I had ever seen. And again, because she made it, we saved tons! Our lower yard area served as a Smore’s bar as the night went on and the lights dimmed. We lit a fire in our fire pit and had a ton of gourmet chocolate and vegan marshmallows for people to make their own smores. I think it was a hit!

DIY Cake

DIY Smores

The Dress, Shoes, Makeup and Hair

Call me odd, but I really didn’t even consider the dress being that big of a deal, so ordered one I saw online for $50. I ordered two pairs of sandals totaling $34 and my sister did my hair and makeup. I thought I looked amazing, the best I’ve ever looked, but that was probably due to the fact I was marrying my best friend and about to have a kick ass party! Mike spent $32 on a new shirt too – we clean up nice!

DIY Wedding

DIY Wedding Hair

Entertainment

My good friend Ryan plays the guitar, so I asked him if he’d sing me down the isle. I picked ‘Wildflowers’ by Tom Petty – this was the first concert Mike and I went to back in high school and I just love that song. He did an amazing job and really set the tone for the night! After the ceremony, the spotify playlist I made hit the speakers and we danced the night away.

DIY Wedding

Before the sun went down, we had corn-hole set up on the side yard – a homemade set Mike made and I painted. The mountains of Colorado faced us and my niece and nephew played and had a blast!

DIY Wedding

To commemorate the event, I had made a homemade Guest Book sign with the mountains painted on it – people signed all over the peaks to remind us that they had traveled so far to wish us well. The day before the wedding we climbed Mount Evans, one of Colorado’s 14’ers. Mike’s group traveled one route and my group traveled another, meeting at the top with a dedication ceremony. The mountains are a major part of our lives here in Colorado, so to have our friends and family get to experience them with us meant the world.

DIY Wedding

Our backyard wedding extravaganza is a weekend I will never forget – not only did we have our friends and family surround us before and during the most important day of our lives, each step of the way was truly us. Our wedding truly reflected our style, our personality, our love for the outdoors, our home, and our lives here in Colorado. And to share that with those we love most was priceless. From soup to nuts, our wedding cost $4,064.00 – and was worth every penny!

If you’re planning a wedding, remember to be true to you and yours – for the day is meant to be happy, stress-free and surrounded by love. If you have any questions about our wedding, feel free to reach out.

Cheers!